3 things

Anonymous : 3 things real men can't say, I'm wrong, I'm lost, I can't fix it.

Me : 3 things i can't bring myself to say now, You're wrong, You disappointed me, What happened to us?

My Mama

I love ya , my mama!

For you are the best listener,

For you are the best supporter,

For you have always tried to be the best mother.

I love ya, my mama!

For you throw out your doubts for me,

For you believing me at all cost,

For you have always respected my decisions,

For you have never demanded anything more than i can be.

I love ya , my mama!

For you have loved me longer,

For you have loved me more,

For you have loved me beyond my CGPA,

For you have loved me despite your complaints about my weight,

For you have loved me in the most difficult time for us.

I love ya, my mama,

Now and always,

For you are the world's greatest mother,

I love ya,

Simply because you're my mama!

Teacher Susan

When i was still trying to master "My Memory"..i suddenly miss my organ teacher, Susan.I remember her as a small sized lady with big eyes who shared my love for charm bracelet back then. I remember she has pretty but short fingers for piano.I remember how she put up with my lack of practice back then. I remember how we love to talk about disney songs. Above all, i remember her as a remarkable musician!

Until today, i cant forget how her eyes literally sparkle when she was playing a piece. That amount of concentration, focus, passion are overwhelming.Like knowing you have found a place where you really belonged.. like music is exactly the talent she should dwell on..And how right she is!

And ever since i noticed that, i cant stop wondering what will make my eyes sparkle? what make yours?

Love is knowing when to let go.

My father's friend is having a lot trouble with his 28 year old daughter. And i must say i understand where these fathers are coming from, but i just cant bring myself to agree with them.

I believe a child is forever bonded to his or her family by blood, and no doubt we are loved from the moment we take our first breath to our our very last no matter how rare we hear those precious words. But as we grow we learn to make choices, be responsible for the kind of choices we made. As we make mistake, we learn and we grow.

There will come a time when we dont want to stay under your wings and be sheltered. There will be time when we made the choice that we want to go out there and experience life's bitter and sweet. There will be a time we beg to differ from you. There will be a time where we choose against you. But all these doesnt mean we dont love you..doesnt mean we dont respect you..doesnt mean we dont need you anymore in our life.

It simply means we need to live our life our way preferably with your support within earshot. Love is knowing when to let go. Love is understanding that we will screw up something someday..but love is also about saying.."Go ahead but if you screw up, i'll always be here."

The Passionate 22

The idea that i'm already 22 definitely has not settled in me. Every year i feel as if i get cooler and calmer about celebrating my birthday.. excited in some way but just not as thrilled as i was younger. I either want something entirely different, or just a simple celebration with family and close friends. But this year while i go from 21 to 22, my thoughtful friends have given me one of the best celebrations ever. Not because they bring me to classy expensive restaurant, not that they shower me with luxurious gifts, not that they invited the whole village to come but the very fact that they went out of their normal way to give me a memorable 22.

It was a surprise! They brought me to Agathians. Agathians is a shelter for underprivileged children and where i go every Sunday for activities with the kids.It is the very place where i have discovered my passion for children.Its the place and the bunch of kids that inspired me to do more than i'm doing right now.Let me just say, the kids are definitely not angelic and they can be mean,annoying and sometimes really rude. But despite everything, i know i love them..each and everyone of them.I love it when Ah Choo comes to me with his toy truck in one hand and grab my hand in his other free hand and tells me that, "i love u teacher".I doubt he knows what it means..but it was still very nice.I was so happy when Chee Keong starts being polite and take my advise to read "Around the world in 80 days". I was so moved when Hari insisted on giving me his Transformer (Its still in my car). I smiled when Poobalan will suddenly just jumped onto my lap and ask me about the blue wolf story i read to him. It makes me feel excited listening to the way Siddha talked about our AIESEC interns and some footballer whose name i dont remember. I'm so relieved when finally Bosmani is able to open up to me instead of being mean every time.

I have made so much memories with them.And i would like to think and hope that i was able to bring to them some positive changes in whatever way. Although sometimes i really feel these kids taught me so much more than i have ever taught them. And it means the world to be able to celebrate my birthday with them. To listen to their birthday song, to look at the birthday card they wrote to me ( My name goes from Yine Ling to Ming Ling, and u have happy brithe day..got bellse u and etc), to look at the birthday cake they held for me..it feels so right!

So thank you my pang pang and friends..it was one heck of a celebration!
I love u all..i really do!

They insist on blindfolding me! Surprise surprise..

22 years old so blow 2 candles i guess?!

Thrilled!
Birthday card


I love u all!

Hard to believe!

Just had lunch with 2 friends from Beijing. They told me so much about China that i just cant believe.

Unbelievable thing no. 1 , the prices of property. Apparently they told me 1 square metres cost RMB38000.An AVERAGE apartment cost RMB 2 million, a house cost RMB 10 million, a luxurios one cost RMB 20 million onwards. I'm like.."WHAT!!". If you can earn only an average of RMB 20000-30000 yearly,how can it cost so much to buy a house? What a precious lesson on price and value!

Unbelievable thing no. 2, we all have heard about the one child policy right. Apparently, if u want to have a second child, what ppl do is that they go to HK or US to give birth. And the whole process should be illegal and can cost about RMB 2 million onwards..Its amazing that ppl will go to such extent just because they want to have another offspring..Dont know what to say really.

Unbelievable thing no. 3, i speak mandarin like Hongkie. No way..my pronunciation is better.

But all in all.. I'm sure China is an interesting place. I'm even thinking to go to TeoChew and see what kind of place my great grandparents came from. Maybe the whole village is full of ppl with the surname Tan. Erm..interesting.

Uncle Thoo

I really miss my uncle thoo today! He is approaching 60, full of sense of humour, fatherly, cheerful and just someone you would love talking to. I miss the way he called me Ying Ying, how he will always tell me his childhood stories, how he just say.."Oh no..you're not fat" whenever i refused chocolate in his home, how he is always telling me to introduce him to my boyfriend so he could help examine him, above all i love the way that he has somehow treated me like his daughter.

He has 3 children..all of whom have grown up and seems to be too very busy for their old man. He lives with his wife and although i always see nothing but the joyous old man that he is, i know that he is lonely and missed his children terribly. But being a good father, he would set them free knowing that they are happy. He doesnt see them often..after all New York and UK are not exactly like Kuching and Sibu.

Few months back..he scared the hell out of us when he was admitted into the hospital. My dad even went back just to visit him. Thank god he made it through. Thank god for not taking away my uncle thoo. I cant describe the fear and relief that surged through me after i heard that he has made a speedy recovery.

My love for this old man exceeded any bond i have felt for my father's extended family. Weird as it sounds, uncle thoo feels more like family to me than anyone else in kuching.I know i will always adore this old man..this old man who seems to understand me a lot even though he doesnt see me often, this old man whose words i can really relate to despite the age difference, this old man i will always come to regard as another fatherly figure in my life, this old man who will always have a big place in my heart.

Dearest uncle thoo, may you always be in the pink of health. Oh no..you said pink was not enough! Red HOT then!!