Change

Quoting myself.."Change is inevitable".Quoting my inner more cowardly self.."I'm blardy afraid of change!!"Ironic i know.But its so much more comfortable to not change than change,so much easier to not realize change than to acknowledge change.
One day,when i took a stroll out of my comfort zone,i realize it was tough and painful because it means for you to let go of a few beliefs that you hold on to,for you to see what you have failed to see before.It means for you to understand that people is not like what you have imagined simply because they too are changing.It means that now there are new things to do,there are things you no longer have or you must live without.
Goodness help!!I dont know what i'm trying to say ...i think i have serious writers block.

Inspired by Kopi

My mum and I were chased or more like stalked by a stray dog name Kopi.Yes,according to my mum most stray dogs are named Kopi.We were both terrified by this unwanted stalker,fearing that it would give us a bite.There is no one else around so all we could do was walk as fast as we can to the car.When we were about to reach the car,i turned around and saw that Kopi was right behind me.Well i am actually quite into having a pet dog,but then again who wouldnt be afraid of a stalking stray dog.But the point is,as scared as we were,we were actually more sympathetic of Kopi.My mum said he must be very hungry.So we decided to feed him with something we have.My mum gave him a nyonya kuih we bought from the pasar malam,although we should have gone with the fishball.But anyway,we managed to escape into the car.

And it got me thinking,all these pitiful stray animals they must have came from somewhere but probably are forgotten by somebody.Haih..what happens when they are caught and forced to be put to sleep.I cried watching it this afternoon.All these cruelty and suffering we selfish human beings have inflicted upon these innocent creatures.How they look at you when they know their lives are coming to an end.Sad really.I better not get too emotional.So people,if you have a pet go get them neutered.If you are intending of getting one,try the animal shelter homes.Yup!!All these in the spirit of making a difference and lessening the number of Kopi on the street.

Diplomat?

I really think i am becoming more of a diplomat everyday.Moving between separate worlds becomes my next hobby.

Like a 12-year-old.

Hopefully i wont "outgrow" it anytime soon.

My father bought a new set of matress sheet for me.It is rather cute and girly but also extremely 12-year-old as you can see above.Haha looking at his taste,i guess i'm always the little girl.But then i am perfectly fine with it,i really think deep down inside us,we dont wanna grow up so fast.We sometimes resist the cruel and hypocritical world by trying to be rebelious and have crazy fun.We dont want to grow up so fast so the time for us to take up real responsibility,to have to deal with those painfully difficult people would be later.As i can see with so many people i met,the price of making a mistake can be so much higher when you are no longer a school kid,how it truly is difficult to stay true to yourself while racing with the ever changing world outside to keep up.All the down sides when you step into the real world.

But as faith has taught us,there is always the bright side of things.I guess when we step into the real world one day,we would really learn to be independent,to answer to ourselves ...challenges are inevitable and hopefully it brings out the best in us.And for those who cant wait to grow up and get the hell out of their present life,i say..."chill lah kawan...the time will come for you to spread you wings and fly away.."

Life is going to be different at some point but just as beautiful just in another way.After all,a saying goes like this,its not what happens to you,its what you do about it.So people..rejoice!

My Saturday!

Right..right so i got pretty much to blog about today.Lets begin okay,as the usual "bookaholic",my father and I went to the popular bookfair in ikano-our usual hang out place.The place was super congested as a stretch of the main road was closed down to make place for the merdeka count down.And i was thinking...merdeka count down..erm patriotic.So so the point was we spent almost an hour at the bookfair mining for "gold".Haha i went searching and digging at the piles and piles of english books priced from as low as RM1...then the neat piles of chinese books.Hunting for books is so fun in the sense that when you found something you like..you can be so excited that you can feel the rush of adrenaline and not to mention sometimes you have to dig as deep as you can like the chinese proverb "the best thing is always at the bottom" so it really is hard work..lol.My hunt was rather fruitful as i got not less than 10 books at less than a 100 bucks.Brilliant me!!I realise i looked rather messed up when i left the place.You try squeezing between people and people carrying heaps of books.But then no complaint though!

Then after that i pretty much spent most of the afternoon reading..and keep reading.Wonderful..and i managed to finish a chinese book in 4 hours..continuously.It is the typical type of chinese love story.This is the first i read.I usually dont even bothered about picking one up as i was rather stereotypical too thinking that they are nothing but dramatic and shallow.But then after this book,i really ought to eat my words.This book is not too bad and i should say not all are bad too.Yes..it is mostly lovey-dovey stuff...but then isnt most books based on that too.Seems like it really is the main theme of books these days.So thankfully i feel like "dont judge a book by its cover" today or else i would have hold that misled opinion for a longer time.

Then there was the late dinner with mitchell that i just came back from.We went to ss2 and we were looking for parking and when we saw one,i was so truly excited that i didnt realise there was this big hole right before the drain.And before we know it..damn i have my right front tyre trapped in the big hole and worse i cant get it out!I got out of the car and see..oh dear the hole was really deep and no matter how hard i step on the accelerator my car just didnt move an inch.Then we were really panicking and totally helpless..what was two girls supposed to do now?!It scares us even more when we dont even know to whom should we call for help since both our fathers are not at home.Then there came a young man from behind us and offer to help.Gosh..i cant tell you how relieved i was.He saw whats the problem then asked me to first straighten my steering wheel..I was already so panicky that i remember asking him "how?" which seems so embrassing now and i was on the verge of getting out and ask him to do it.Then he helped me with it.Then he stood right beside the front tyre and ask me to step hard when he lift it up.I nodded.Then with much effort he lifted it up a little bit and my car was free!!We said thank you so many times..but when i want to turn around to thank him again he was gone.What a nice guy..my hero of the night..not everyone would have the heart to help or feel the need to help.Bless him bless him..i even have the thought of buying him dinner..but then he left too soon and we dont have enough money too.Twice i bump into this car problem..and twice my father was not around too so i really got help from these good samaritans.Once my tyre was punctured in Seri Kembangan..i want to ask help from my friend also difficult luckily an uncle changed the tyre for me.Cold sweat cold sweat..

Haha maybe i should learn some basic skills to handle these kind of unexpected incidents.So people call me if you see any workshop for this!So this is how i spent my saturday..not really eventful but rather satisfying.Cheers!!

"My new found treasures"

Read..read and read...

Okay..i am just so completely into reading these few days and it cant be good considering i have a few tests next week.I dont know what got into me..i just feel like keep reading and reading.I would normally take a few weeks to finish a book,just take my own sweet time enjoying it.But it is different this time.I use little more than a day to finish a chinese book not once but almost twice.Read it over and over again..laugh at the same part i laughed,get my heart broken at the same part before and enjoying it more and more everytime.

Its like you dont care at all what will happen tomorrow as long as you can keep reading.I just love how it feels like when i indulge myself in a different world.Feel different feelings...this author is not bad at all,she is a legend in the chinese writing world.I guess reading provides me with some sort of a sanctuary..it is where you can turn to anytime and just forget your problem for a while and follow where the story takes you.It is time when you can let your imagination roams free and think of yourself as who ever you want to be,absolutely wonderful!!

I really think besides green tea ice-cream,teddy bears and french fries...books is one of human beings' greatest idea!!Cheers to all the authors i respect and admire above all..Haha gtg..bookworm is me.

To Be Forgiving

I am a very simple person.I do not have too much of anger and hatred in me.Even when i am extremely pist off by somebody,the anger and frustration would normally disappear within at most 2 days.

But like life,there is always exception.Lately i am just so mad at this particular person.Not that i think about it all the times but on some unfortunate events i'm being painfully reminded.It is what she does that hurts me most painfully.I shall not go into details as it most probably will involve too many people.

But what i have learned is that, we truly cannot expect everyone in the world to be like us.Not everyone is entitled to treating us respectfully and with compassion.And there will always be people who constantly brings out the worst in us..pushing us to a point where we really have to be mean and harsh as opposite to what we strive to become.

There is so much more in life than to become such an angry and pist off person.We always have a choice,just dont let anyone stand in the way of us becoming who we really desire.I know its easier said than done but eventually we really have to be forgiving and let it go.It just take times and some willingness.And today..i think i can do so and hope i always can when required.

Until then..Cheers!!

Something new!

I always have the feeling that i have wasted my time a lot after a long holiday because i ll look back and probably be able to see something more beneficial and constructive to do but didnt do.So as the saying goes,we should not live our life in regrets,i have decided to take up a foreign language.Hahaha why am i offering so many reasons,the truth is i just like the idea of learning another language and at time like this,its really not a bad idea to turn the focus back on yourself through learning.So the language i pick is French.Well not exactly because French is seemingly connected to anything romantic but simply because its one of the most spoken language in European countries and as according to my dad,mastering another language can only do you more good and no harm.

So today was my first class,my class is consist of almost 10 peoples from all walks of life.I was the second youngest and have classmates from age 19 to 30's.Interestingly,when i settled down,and the teacher who is a Jamaican started talking in some funny language,i immediately thought i was in the wrong class.But turns out he was speaking French and only he alone is comprehending as the rest of us looked equally clueless.Guess i really wasnt accustomed to not understanding a single word people utter,but then i think i ll get use to it.So then today we learn some really basic salutation,presentation and etc in French..i wasnt tougue-tied as i thought i would be but it is rather challenging to get the pronounciation right and at the same time remember what it means.There was time when the teacher asked us one by one like we were supposed to answer whats our name,how old are we kind of questions..i just looked at him and went blank like he literally just drain me of what i have just learned.A few moments of silence and he replied.."Maybe later..." which cause the whole class to giggle a little...I was like "damn!!i knew the answers just minutes ago.."and went red a little.The class lasted for two hours,although it was slightly tiring for me as i go there straight after work and dinner,but it was worth it and satisfying.

And as i really should turn in and get some beauty sleep,Aurevoir!! (which means goodbye in French..i just checked in my notes..lol).

Attention Ppl!!

Hey people, if you are young and fun and simply into fashion..well not only for the sake of looking good but also to appear presentable then let me introduce to you...

For Him.....http://especially-4-u-station.blogspot.com

For Her.....http://style-shopaholic.blogspot.com

Knock yourself out and have fun!!

(p/s: fren fren...you know you damn love me de...xoxo!!)

God Bless Us!

I'm now exhausted and tired from work.But i have the strongest ever urge to blog this.Like we all know,two natural disasters have hit China and Myanmar recently.And when natures hit,they can cause really severe impact,in fact they already did.The Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar have taken away so many precious lives and left its people injured,homeless and devastated from the loss of their loves one.The city was reduced to almost nothing but ruins.What was more ironic i read from some where was that even though help are pouring into the country,some of the aid organisation and agency actually have to beg the military government to let them in to help.While the massive earthquake in the Sichuan province in China measuring to a magnitude of 7.9 if i'm not mistaken has shocked the entire nation.Not only was it the most serious earth quake to occur for the last three decades,but the even more pressing issue now is that aid cannot be efficiently delivered to the worst struck area due to the main access road being blocked by wreckage from the earthquake.


It was so heartbreaking and devastating to look at the state of the victims both dead and alive.I was watching this live broadcast from China, i see how the rescue team tried to dig out people buried in the debris,there was a school that collapsed and killed 900 school children and teachers,people was injured,bloody,tired, hungry,cold and above all scared.There were people who cried and broke down beside the corpse of their loves one.There were also hundreds of people who actually have to take refuge besides piles and piles of dead bodies because the aid agency is too busy attending to the ones alive. Imagine the kind of pain and fear that situation would have inflicted on any human.Children are crying,adults are sobbing...but what can they do.Basically nothing but wait,wait for more help to arrive,wait for their family to appear safe and sound before their eyes,wait for food ,wait for medical aid,wait for a miracle to stop this nightmare.How hopeless the world must have seemed to them.


And yet,one may wonder why is this happening?Why are these horrible things keep happening to human beings?I dunno how u look at it,but deep down in my heart i keep having the feelings that mother earth is actually reacting to all the damages we have done to her.She is starting to avenge us, punishing us for not appreciating for all we did was take but never to give.Think about it,first tsunami then this,god knows if its gonna snow in Thailand!I know they call it the natural disasters..it was unforeseen and unexpected.But get a grip!With that much of damages done to the environment,all the green house gases,carbon dioxide,cleared forest,and tonnes and tonnes of biologically undegradable rubbish that we created,one can NEVER expect earth to be like how it was 30 years back.That would simply be foolish and ilogical.Somehow i just instinctively tied these disasters to all the things we did and didnt do for environment.I may be wrong for all reasons,and i wish it was too.At least then we can clear our conscience and say that was completely none of our(human beings) fault.But keep in mind,living in denial will not lead you anywhere.


I know it is way too cliche these days if you tell people to seriously think about what u can do for environment.Be it recycle,save water and electricity,reduce the usage of plastic...anything at all.It might not seemed like a big deal to not recycle after all everybody is like that.Nobody is doing it so why bothered?Wrong wrong wrong!!It doesnt matter if you cant get the entire neighbourhood to do it,nobody can change the world overnight but the important thing is you wanting to be a part of it,you making an effort no matter how insignificant you think it is.Do something,make a difference.There is still an option for us now,dun wait till we ran out of it.

The Last & First Day

Today would be the last day of me being 19 years old,in fact i'm just 1 hour away from turning 20.So it means i'm saying goodbye to the last 19 years and hello to a new stage....the 20's.They say if u get on to 20,it will be like just a blink of an eye when u hit 29 then 30 then older and older...erm pretty true,time really flies especially when u dun pay attention to it.I still remember vividly going to school on the 1st day then wondering how was i going to be when i hit 18..then "BOOM!!"..i'm turning 20 in just TOMORROW.

Lets just put it this way,2007 has not really been a fabulous year for me.I didnt give it all my best for my studies from the beginning and thus resulted in a mere satisfactory results.I didnt set my priority straight and caused myself to stray too far away from my real goal.I indulge too much in pleasure and gave insufficient attention to the serious business.I have also some other incidents which can only be said as too unlucky!..But besides that the lesson i have learnt is that i m not determined enough,didnt not give enough effort and probably just aint intelligent enough to notice it earlier...But hell screw it! I cant rewind and undo all the mistakes i did nor can i just copy and paste previous successes.So there really is no point looking back and whine.The faster u can find out about your mistakes, and the faster u chose to deal with it and change it,the faster u can move on in your life,and therefore the faster u can expect the next best thing to happen.
So wat i'm saying is that...no matter how badly i have fell when i'm 19 ...i got up from it.I manage to keep my chin up and say.."I know i screwed up..i'll just make sure i wont do that again."I think thats good enough at least for me it is.

So i'm kind of glad my 20th birthday is here.Its like closing one door behind you...but bring together the lesson u have learnt and all the great memories with extraordinary people i have met along the way..all the wonderful things i have done..and open another door right in front of you which i have no idea now which way it will lead me to.The feeling of a new found confidence and some new thoughts to fill into the missing place deep under is beyond any words can ever describe.

So...hey 20's!!I'm coming!!

Damn Indians!! (p/s: i'm not a racist)

Today was one hell of a day....

There was this young indian guy who came up to my working place and started looking for somebody that doesnt really exist.Then minutes later,he came back up with another friend asking me the same damn question!God,i m so mad at myself that that wasnt enough to raise my alarm.Then minutes later when these two "good for nothing","disgrace of society",......and blardy bastards that are total rubbish..(And please do me the favour of fitting any more nasty words)are shoo-ed from my place.I realised my phone which was placed on the table was gone.

I started panicking...then fumble in my bag,call my phone and my phone was still no where to be found.I told my boss...and we both rushed down to see if those 2 idiots are still there...Well deep down...we know those idiots wont be as idiotic as we thought...and the chances of finding them and my phone were less than zero.And soon we have to give up.Damn!

What happens next,i believe you can paint the picture yourself.Get a little nagging from your parents...lodged a police report...have that sim card blocked...lost a nice phone..All these damn things because of my own blunder and of course those 2 indians.On the way back, i just cant stop scolding and cursing them both..hating them so deeply and cursing them whatever they steal from me and others..they ll lose more in the end....all the pain and trouble they caused...they have worse in return.I was filled with anger most on them then a part of it on me.My boss says sometimes i'm just too naive while my dad says i'm just too kind and expect no one but good guys and fine ladies to cross my path...tat there were no such things as bad guys who do bad things.Haih now that really hurts.

But what really broke my heart came after that.When i thought of all the messages that i have kept for months..all the unsaved pictures...all the lost contacts..and of course my beautiful phone which was also a birthday present.Haih...this is just so unfair!! Why do i deserve this?I never do anything harmful to anyone...Why do bad things like this happen to good people?

What makes me feel worse is that i get emotionally attached to an item easily.I value them not only for their price but for all the meanings and memories they carry.For example,my little grey teddy bear,I love him so much beyond everything despite the fact that it looked really old and worn out already because he has been my bestest fren since forever even before i can speak,he was sleeping beside me..See it wasnt the material but the memories that makes it priceless.Haih and now..i look at the phone my fren borrowed me,then i thought of the moment me n my frens hang on the phone for so long that i have to hang up because i felt my ear was burning..all the sweet and lame sms...my pictures!!! All gone!!GONE!

Haih...i just felt so bad.But i do appreciate the effort my parents and mitchell did to cheer me up..especially my mum."Let them fall and roll off the stairs and have their front teeth broken!"..."Let them have their hands hurt and ankles sprained!...Haha my mum...not too bad sometimes.

My Name

Yes.....i can be so lazy...but i'm making up for it now....

So, my name is Ying Ling (rite..its a state the obvious thing here..) but then again i have a story to tell.Normally...i'm called fren,kawan,ah ling,tyl,the mean ones (think they are so cool ppl) call me ah fei or fei po...hello....i begged so much to differ..lol!! The courteous ones which includes a lot of people call me by my real name and dont give me nicknames.The "i have no idea who's who" calls me and perhaps everyone else "ooi!!...hey!!...eh you!!"Not very nice but that is not my point.

The point is i realised what i was missing yesterday.Sometimes you just dont take notice of these kind of petty stuff,but when it hits you...it can hits you right in the place where it can continues to bring out so much more..I was working and was determined to finish off some work.And then i heard .."Ying..."feelings were all soaring inside of me as if my middle name and solely it has struck the most important chord.I felt myself softened towards everything...probably at that particular moment i would have bought all the things the salesman has been trying to sell me...I looked at the one who said that seemingly amazing word and felt as if we have been brought closer.Suddenly the thousand miles of gap between us just closed up because all of a sudden i was being addressed like a friend.

Not that the rest didnt treat me like their friend but this time and only this time felt so incredibly different.The impact just went so deep into the soul that i cant stopped feeling so amazed and puzzled at the same time.I dont know what could have caused the difference.The person who said it?The tone?The expressions?The body language?Or was i just being down right paranoid or sensitive?I really dont think so...Its like the friendship rekindled with a good old friend..magical.

What Kind?!

What kind of a guy will pinch his friend's ear,may i stress that his friend is a girl and cause her to fall off her seat and then laughed his head off...."tut..........."What kind of friend will force her friend,again let me emphasize her friend is a girl to buy lottery for her dad and get surrounded by "ma lat lou".What kind of friend will make alliance with each other and constantly bully their friend for over hours..What kind of friend will just do all those terrible things...what happened to this world..sigh sigh sigh...
I know i'm being a bit dramatic..but whats life without a bit of drama?...And as much as we pretend to curse,tease and eff each other and hate each other,but deep down we know we had a great time!!

When At Work

It is very interesting the kind of people and things that you can come across at work.Even though i would think that my job revolves around a very small circle of people,they never fail to surprise you.So there was this little boy,okay form 1 boy whom i have been given the noble responsibility to babysit him,okay keep an eye on him while he waits for his mum.God,this has immediately transfered back to my form 1.I remembered how my dad has almost forbidden me to go to sport house practice just because i have to walk to school alone.I dun remember how i always managed to go in the end and most definitely why i wanted to go in the 1st place as i was never exactly that keen on sports.Or the countless lecture of walking against the traffic,beware of strangers,or be alert that kind of thing...of course i understand perfectly well the purpose of all that my parents did and i accepted it willingly but then again i vividly remembered how it feels like to be the super protected child in front of your friends.It must have been awkward and embarassing.So taking his feelings into consideration,i didnt want to make him feel uneasy as if some one has to babysit him..so i just keep some distance and survey anything before me.Then,i start to have some really casual conversation with him.Every question i asked came back with merely a 1 or 2 words answer.And every inch i step closer to him,he would just naturally back away few feets to the extent i fear he would just run off on me.Thankfully he didnt,we waited together for 20 minutes.I was just so amused at him,and cant stop wondering if i was the same when i was his age...and i thought...nah...I CANT be!!

Then again there was these 2 indians who seemed to be like father and son.As soon as i opened the door,the son just came trampling all over the place in his shoes...and he didnt seem to understand my request for him to take off his shoes..And this man start showing me some card with a coffee name on it.Then only i understand these 2 are trying to sell me stuff..It was so hard to understand their english that i have to strain my ears so much.And as i politely declined,he was just so insistent that i at least try the tester or something...i was like HELL NO!!I'm taking no drinks from a stranger besides they hardly look like any salesman.I went on for minutes trying to tell him no...in the end he would only leave when i promise to take down his numbers and have people to phone him if they are interested...As if that wasnt enough he still pester me for a while before i politely hold the door...indicating that i want them to leave. God..what is wrong with them, when people say no to you shouldnt you just smile say thank you and leave?And most importantly don go dirtying my spotless floor with your shoes....Later on i told my boss about it and saw his face..and after all his advise on what to do next time,i suddenly realise how the situation could have easily gone bad..while making a mental note for myself to not open door to any salesman..i really think that all of us especially the girls should keep our guards up more often these days.So as for my job,it is at a very stagnant stage as in you go through the same routine days after days,listen to the same music on my mp3,and always be in the constant dilemma of what to eat for lunch...but anyway i guess i have adapted to the lifestyle pretty good.I guess when some thing or place becomes your sanctuary,you ll look forward to it.

I like it!!

So when we are in school,we long for holidays.When we are on holidays,we long for something more interesting to fill our days.How typical was that...but whatever as i ll keep my promise.
So as i was just lying on my the couch and reading after 2 hours of my new favourite reality show.I felt slightly bored but like the feeling of actually feeling bored these days.At least i'm not all stressed out nor am i grumpy and go around moaning to every soul i meet.I can only remember feeling so during the very last holidays after SPM.Come to think of it now,how splendid it is to be able to feel bored ,at least after that you can do whatever you wish.You dun have to feel guilty to head out for supper because you still have no clue what your chemistry teacher was mumbling about.Hah!! That was so over already..
So anyway,i dont know what else to say.Screw it!! Have many great days ahead everyone!!
And to my dearest and most adorable fren of whom i have taken the selfish advantage to take it out on you yesterday,a thousand apologies...I love you lots!!

Blog Blog Blog!!

Ok perhaps i really should resume blogging before aaron complains further and getting another lousy blog comment from john..so anyway what is there to be said...sorry i'm going to get all deep and emo-ish here..
Lets see wat happened to me lately.I lost someone.I have regrets for so many things i could do but didnt.I failed to win the love of my love and now have decided to give up and move on.I have my confidence crushed again as things don turn out to be the way i want them to.I have my heart broken when the person i rely on so much failed to give me support when i most needed it.I felt so insecure now as i m too sure far worse and unbareable things are going to happen.I feel that one day i will be walking alone.If i ever fall, no one is going to be there.
Yes,at that moment my life sucks,and so do i...its one of the darkest period of my life.When something bad happens,it just doesnt stop there...it continues to trigger another series of unfortunate events.For many days back,i just spent so much effort fighting back tears that are welling in my eyes,stopping myself to weep on my bed,trying so hard to be in control...as a matter of fact i dun remember having ever shed so much tears like i did through out 2007.
But for all of u thats reading this,dun worry i'm not going to get all depressed and continued to cry cry and cry in the dark corner.What is done is done..nothing can be changed even if i shed a tonne of tears.So really,i'm perfectly fine now...life is really too short to be lived in constant self inflicted misery.
As for now,i'm trying to live the best of out my life..try to make amends.So whatever happens next,i'll live on!!Like they say..people are like teabags,you need to put them into hot water before you can know how strong they are.And now i just keep amazing myself for all the strength and intelligence i didnt know i have that get me through all the hot water!!So cheers you people!!Celebrate life,celebrate yourself as you really can be more than you can ever think of!! And i'm sorry i wont be so dark,deep and emotional next time...i promise!!