Uncle Thoo

I really miss my uncle thoo today! He is approaching 60, full of sense of humour, fatherly, cheerful and just someone you would love talking to. I miss the way he called me Ying Ying, how he will always tell me his childhood stories, how he just say.."Oh no..you're not fat" whenever i refused chocolate in his home, how he is always telling me to introduce him to my boyfriend so he could help examine him, above all i love the way that he has somehow treated me like his daughter.

He has 3 children..all of whom have grown up and seems to be too very busy for their old man. He lives with his wife and although i always see nothing but the joyous old man that he is, i know that he is lonely and missed his children terribly. But being a good father, he would set them free knowing that they are happy. He doesnt see them often..after all New York and UK are not exactly like Kuching and Sibu.

Few months back..he scared the hell out of us when he was admitted into the hospital. My dad even went back just to visit him. Thank god he made it through. Thank god for not taking away my uncle thoo. I cant describe the fear and relief that surged through me after i heard that he has made a speedy recovery.

My love for this old man exceeded any bond i have felt for my father's extended family. Weird as it sounds, uncle thoo feels more like family to me than anyone else in kuching.I know i will always adore this old man..this old man who seems to understand me a lot even though he doesnt see me often, this old man whose words i can really relate to despite the age difference, this old man i will always come to regard as another fatherly figure in my life, this old man who will always have a big place in my heart.

Dearest uncle thoo, may you always be in the pink of health. Oh no..you said pink was not enough! Red HOT then!!

Hours for Minutes

I just finished my presentation this morning about the concept of "Yin & Yang"(I know your reaction,dun frown yet)..Its actually not that bad since i always have a thing for history..furthermore this is like a going back to your roots kind of thing..so i really enjoy it.

Honestly speaking, i think this is one of my best presentation..Imagine borrowing and carrying heaps of books from the library,going through each of them scanning for information,search on the net,go back to the syllabus if you're missing something and finally completing the slide show.It takes no less than 3 hours for me.Well,sometimes you might come to a dead end and think that what you are writing is not as relevant as you thought...so you go back and edit it one more time,hoping that this time it will be just nice and is in perfect flow.I know perfect is a big word..but if you really work on it,it really does approach the big word.

And so came the presentation and Q & A,I did it in less than 10 minutes.So can you grasp the picture? You spent hours preparing a presentation and completing it in less than 10 minutes.Thats how it is...It shows that in order to build something on good ground and equip it with substance,flow and style,it takes time and efforts no matter how short lived the outcome will be.Very much like a dancer,practicing and perfecting dance moves for years before steping on stage to show her best and receive the well deserved applause.

You just have to decide for yourself whether or not it is worth it.Damn! I wish i was as much of a perfectionist when it comes to chemistry..I'll try hard..Cheers!

Haha!!Miracle!!

One word can describe my day perfectly-GREAT!

1st..it was the very entertaining Gossip Girls series..then my shopping session which was totally fruitful and therapeutic.By then...i was in such good mood that everything just brghten up my day..oh,btw i figure i ll just put the traffic jams and those drivers that get on my nerves away for a while..

Anyway the most most most IMPORTANT thing of the day was..I can do Maths!!OMG...even i cant believe it myself..i literally got through most of the questions myself and actually got it right!Can you imagine that?! And hey mind you..its not some easy piece of crap ok..it was something similar to my form 6 maths.But having never understood it back then..and now being able to solve the questions myself and may i stress...completely by myself(except the really hard ones),it meant so much!!I'm on the verge of jumping up from my chair and say "I finally got it!!".
You have no idea..what its like to listen to your lecturer babble and not getting in a word...how frustrating it is sometimes to not understand how did you get so incompetent in the things you were so good at..

But now i feel differently this time around,like things are getting into the right places,like I finally broke out of the stupidity cloud that surrounds me for far too long.Felt like i just move this one hell of a stopping stone off my path.Never felt this miraculous for a while! Cheers!

Change

Quoting myself.."Change is inevitable".Quoting my inner more cowardly self.."I'm blardy afraid of change!!"Ironic i know.But its so much more comfortable to not change than change,so much easier to not realize change than to acknowledge change.
One day,when i took a stroll out of my comfort zone,i realize it was tough and painful because it means for you to let go of a few beliefs that you hold on to,for you to see what you have failed to see before.It means for you to understand that people is not like what you have imagined simply because they too are changing.It means that now there are new things to do,there are things you no longer have or you must live without.
Goodness help!!I dont know what i'm trying to say ...i think i have serious writers block.

Inspired by Kopi

My mum and I were chased or more like stalked by a stray dog name Kopi.Yes,according to my mum most stray dogs are named Kopi.We were both terrified by this unwanted stalker,fearing that it would give us a bite.There is no one else around so all we could do was walk as fast as we can to the car.When we were about to reach the car,i turned around and saw that Kopi was right behind me.Well i am actually quite into having a pet dog,but then again who wouldnt be afraid of a stalking stray dog.But the point is,as scared as we were,we were actually more sympathetic of Kopi.My mum said he must be very hungry.So we decided to feed him with something we have.My mum gave him a nyonya kuih we bought from the pasar malam,although we should have gone with the fishball.But anyway,we managed to escape into the car.

And it got me thinking,all these pitiful stray animals they must have came from somewhere but probably are forgotten by somebody.Haih..what happens when they are caught and forced to be put to sleep.I cried watching it this afternoon.All these cruelty and suffering we selfish human beings have inflicted upon these innocent creatures.How they look at you when they know their lives are coming to an end.Sad really.I better not get too emotional.So people,if you have a pet go get them neutered.If you are intending of getting one,try the animal shelter homes.Yup!!All these in the spirit of making a difference and lessening the number of Kopi on the street.

Diplomat?

I really think i am becoming more of a diplomat everyday.Moving between separate worlds becomes my next hobby.

Like a 12-year-old.

Hopefully i wont "outgrow" it anytime soon.

My father bought a new set of matress sheet for me.It is rather cute and girly but also extremely 12-year-old as you can see above.Haha looking at his taste,i guess i'm always the little girl.But then i am perfectly fine with it,i really think deep down inside us,we dont wanna grow up so fast.We sometimes resist the cruel and hypocritical world by trying to be rebelious and have crazy fun.We dont want to grow up so fast so the time for us to take up real responsibility,to have to deal with those painfully difficult people would be later.As i can see with so many people i met,the price of making a mistake can be so much higher when you are no longer a school kid,how it truly is difficult to stay true to yourself while racing with the ever changing world outside to keep up.All the down sides when you step into the real world.

But as faith has taught us,there is always the bright side of things.I guess when we step into the real world one day,we would really learn to be independent,to answer to ourselves ...challenges are inevitable and hopefully it brings out the best in us.And for those who cant wait to grow up and get the hell out of their present life,i say..."chill lah kawan...the time will come for you to spread you wings and fly away.."

Life is going to be different at some point but just as beautiful just in another way.After all,a saying goes like this,its not what happens to you,its what you do about it.So people..rejoice!