Just A Dreamyfier

A manly day.

2011-05-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

I am so manly today. Seriously..no joke. Imagine me in a yellow safety helmet and slightly oversized protective boots marching into the loading area with a camera in one hand and a file in another.Then, sitting on some wood plank examining the finished goods. Even when a cockroach came out of nowhere and was attempting to climb up my hand...i merely shrugged it off (no scream no yerrr whatsoever)...talk about doing it with style and attitude!!LOL..i have a lot to thank the cockroaches at home for training my guts!

Anyway today was the 2nd day of my internship..and it was a whole lot more fulfilling than yesterday whereby a big part of my afternoon was spent reading manuals. Am absolutely loving the physical and intellectual challenge! Haven't felt this exhausted for a good cause for so damn long!

Well i still don't have much clue how the coming months will be..but i'm confident its gonna be quite interesting!I can hear the million dollars machine calling me already!!

Cheers to many more fulfilling days ahead!! Together, we brew success!!

To my dearest godfather.

2011-04-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

To my dearest godfather, Uncle Thoo,

Hope you and Aunty Thoo are in the pink of health. Here's a book i bought with my pocket money and i would love to present it to you as a belated birthday present.

Thank you for being such a fatherly figure in my life. You and Aunty Thoo are worthy of all the love and respect in the world! Thank you for letting me know that the world could be mine. Your words of encouragement got me through the time when i doubted myself.I don't think i could ever reciprocate enough, your love and kindness.

So please continue to stay in good health! More books are on the way!

Hope you will enjoy reading this book like i always did with all the magazines you generously subscribed for me!

Look forward to visiting you and Aunty Thoo in Kuching soon!

Love,
Ying Ying
24/4/2011

(p/s: my dad said people from peninsular Malaysia are not as warm as people from Kuching..i beg to differ..in my case, i'm just very selective about who i want to show my love and warmth to.)

Privacy? Really?

2011-04-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

Watching CNN always remind me of a dream that i had. To be a newscaster, to be an anchorwoman, to have a one hour show in my name. Can't tell you how much it flatters and fuels my ego when my classmate refers me as Oprah. Ok..talk show host or anchorwoman..i'm flexible!

But then my childhood dream( still is my dream) is not the point in this entry. While i was listening to CNN and also multitasking at the same time, something caught my ears..the host ( a particularly good looking one) was commenting on how social media is actually stripping our privacy.

Interesting i taught. And out of boredom, i decided to verify for myself if it is as easy or more difficult that what they told us. Of course, i'm just playing the role of a nosy person and not super good hacker, guess that is a whole new context.So where best to start but Facebook!

I started typing in a name.Half of us on fb allows only friends to see our wall and our info. But still i come across an account of "Someone" that allows me to see everything..wall..posts...photos..friends..u name it.

I sure never meet this person before..but imagine what i can find out via facebook. A complete stranger can see where you're from..where do you live..where do you study..whats your mother's name, sister's name..when is your birthday..And all of these are in the first glance..

If i look deeper..i can tell what course are you doing..what club/society you're in..who is your room mate..which hostel you're in..who's your best buddies..your relationship status..

At this point of course, my patience run out. But i think it is clear to everyone how we're exposing bits and pieces of ourselves via social media like facebook, twitter and even our blogs. People can find out so much about us with a few clicks..that is assuming you leave a virtual footprint which would include more than 80% of the gen y. After all, there's got to be a reason why Mark Zuckerberg is so so rich. That's not the end yet..if i'm a hacker (hypothetically speaking)..credit card info, all your purchase be it books or movie tickets will be at the back of my hand.

We gotta realize with a tool that helps us to record our lives and interact with others, we are also inevitably stripping ourselves of our privacy.It is ridiculous to deactivate an account..ask any of the current users. Most will ridicule this idea because we have built either useful or huge virtual network. You got to understand the charm of connecting with people from ALL over the world for FREE and in such an interactive way.

So i know it is impossible to leave social media behind,it will be like discarding our cherished memories altogether( anyone remembers friendster?). But do yourself a favor, at least go look into your privacy setting and see if you're okay with it.

Lucky for my case study, i am just a blogger not a virtual stalker.

Put A Smile On Your Face..=)

2011-02-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

2011-01-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

It is nothing new to say that Chinese New Year seems to be so much more different now than when we were 10 years old. When we were 10 years old, CNY is THE time, in fact THE BEST time. It is when we go out with parents to get brand new clothes, get lots ang paus from relatives, having to wait while our parents chit chat with their friends during visits while finishing all their choc cookies. As for me, i remembered memorizing some Teochew "gong xi fa cai" so i can re-chant it to my grandpa. It was very very joyous.

Of course, it is still a very joyous festival. We still buy brand new clothes, we still get ang paus, we still do relative visits..but despite the all-too-convincing "still"s I cant help but realized something changed. We still love CNY of course, but we cant deny a big factor of that affection is because we get 1 whole week of holidays for it. We are excited in some way for it, but we no longer have that adrenaline pumping, heart beating super fast moment when we hear the fireworks.

Perhaps we grow up or perhaps we grow out of the CNY cliche...either ways are sad..

I hope it is not too weird coming from my mouth, CNY is still a great and huge tradition we Chinese should always remember and live up to. If ever you're like me, even for one second doubt the meaning of CNY, maybe it will do us good to perhaps drop by at Chinatown to see with our own eyes, how this thousand years old tradition managed to so effortlessly give us all reason to be happy.

And if that wasnt enough, you can still count on the scrumptious yee-sang, beer/wine drinking with your friends, and jin rummy/mahjong to cheer you up!

See really...there is no reason why we shouldn't enjoy ourselves!

Happy Chinese New Year!

The Jogging Experience

2011-01-24T07:18:00.000-08:00

Wow i think i'm sort of impressed by myself..i went jogging after class with 2 good friends.And yes please dont doubt this, it is definitely OH-MY-GOSH worthy on my behalf!I'm the last person who will want to carry out the idea of an evening jog even my neighbour whom i bumped into in the park was genuinely surprised to see me.

And the jogging experience confirms beyond a doubt that i am indeed super unfit! it only took less than 5 minutes of slow jogging to get me hyperventilating.And when my jogging buddies came, it took less than 30 seconds for them to outjog me and for me to lose sight of them! And yes i am deeply ashamed as this level of fitness is appalling for a 23 year-old.

Even though i stayed in the park for half an hour, less than 10 minutes was the actual "jogging"..i'll like to call it "leisure walking" or "brisk walking"..you get the picture right..=P

So whats the remedy? If god is willing, i'm going to be jogging every Monday after class. A battle has just begun, its my laziness and cravings against exercise regime! At the moment, I'll like to think exercise regime is on the winning side, after all i did switched that roti canai with papaya for supper!

God bless me.=)

My Rule This Time

2011-01-17T08:07:00.000-08:00

Ok..i had enough of formulas/equations/laws (from a lot geniuses whose name i cant even pronounce )to last me a lifetime..but now now my turn to get creative..Allow me to introduce to the world Ying Ling's Rule of Good Chances of Success both in the chemistry labs and when you're 23 years old.

Now when you're in the labs, from Ying Ling's Rule of Good Chances of Success came the following equation:

Good immunity towards super bad smell +
Ability to withstand overwhelming annoyance from demonstrators +
Ability to stand for 6 hours straight +
Wisdom to face failures due to bad luck+
Courage to face failures due to bad skills+
Ability to resist the temptation to copy senior's reports
= GOOD CHANCES OF SUCCESS

Now if we can translate this to real life, it would probably be:

Immunity to people who brings you down/pull you low +
Ability to withstand overwhelming criticism +
Ability to persist/to not waver in the face of adversity +
Wisdom to face failures due to back luck+
Courage to admit that sometimes you're not good enough +
Ability to create your own dreams and paths
=GOOD CHANCES OF SUCCESS

See, life does emulates chemistry in some ways.

Disclaimer : The one who derives these laws is not yet successful, but there is a good chance she will. After all, if you went through enough screw-ups, you're bound to come across thumbs-ups some day. I'm just clocking in on screw-ups just so you know.=)

For the wonderful day waiting for me tomorrow..cheers!

Science,Technology and Media

2011-01-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

It has been one week since university started and all was well so far.I have some pretty wacky lecturers and some very cool sounding chemical technology along the way but still i think i can handle it alright.

But there was one subject that really interest me!As the title of this entry implies, yes so far my favorite is science technology and media. Not because it gives me a much needed break away from chemistry but the fact that this subject and our lecturer, Ms Yasmin Rasyid(also founder of The EcoKnights) challenge my point of view beyond any other discipline areas. She never stops to encourage us to look at both sides of the coin when it comes to all the news we get from any form of media and its true the fact that we especially students have grown so complacent in accepting any kind of message without second thought.

When we take a deeper look into media and communication, it is easy to realize that the combination of both has affected so much of our lives from the way we think, right down to the kind of phones we buy. It has a huge role in our lives with or without us knowing. But the problem is this, quoting Ms Yasmin , " The one who owns the media has power like the one who runs the country", a statement which i strongly agree! The media can paint a pretty picture and has the magic ability to turn an ordinary girl into a princess OR it can tear you down and reduce you to nothing but an ugly frog. Hence it is so imperative to analyze all the information from all angles and sources and to actually question them. We need to have the ability to analyze, collect information, interpret and attempt to put it in the big picture and think for ourselves if it is fit and logic. And above all, we have to stop being so complacent and easy going in the things we deem as the truth, what this course has taught me so far is that, we have to stop blindly digesting all sorts of information and really take the time to ponder and examine its truthfulness!

I have a strong feeling i'm really going to enjoy myself in this class! Finally something that could significantly expand my horizons and revolutionize my mindset! God! I am seriously anticipating this intellectual challenge!

Go check out
http://www.ecoknights.org.my/component/option,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/
http://1hijau.tv/

Till the next time! xoxo!

Hey God!

2011-01-08T07:45:00.000-08:00

Few days back when UM was having UniEdu bookfair,my friends and i were approached by a very grandmotherly looking lady.Turns out she's from Tzu Chi and was very enthusiastically inviting us over to Tzu Chi Year End Blessing which took place tonight at the KL Convention Centre.

Since i would be around KL anyway..so i agreed i'll drop by together with a friend and mum. My mum really enjoyed it as the whole organization was very much in alignment with her religion beliefs and faith. But as for me, my view on religion is very much different.

I believe in God..the mighty powerful and wise God.I dont think any blessing is a coincidence, like the other day, when i was driving and almost involved in a close head-on collision with a Kancil but then i didnt..i drove away unscathed, the driver and i managed to brake on time to avoid any kind of damage to both sides. So listen to this, i dont think it is just mere luck that i got away fine, i think be it God, angel or guardian, i was definitely watched over and protected and for that i give thanks.

So i dont doubt the power of God nor the presence of God..i think it surely exist.There has got to be a power higher than us, how else can we explain the difference of path of every individual then the plan of God to put different crayons in our hand to colour our own canvas of life.It is up to us to see God in even a grain of sand and in the most magnificient of beauty.

And back to Tzu Chi, sure it did opened me up to different horizons..the international relief efforts be it in the Pakistan flood or Haiti Earthquake and many others were most impressive and admirable! Maybe i would wanna sign up as a volunteer after i graduate..it must be great the feeling of dedicating to something other than ourselves! And the blessing ang-pao was very nice too.=)

But anyhow..i'm still open to all views and very respectful of all the existing religions in Malaysia. All religions teach us well thus all religions are perfect, the flaws are only in the followers.So no debate on any religion is necessary,after all it is up to individual to decide where you want to lay your faith on.

And please God, continue to blessing me and give me the strength to deal with all the idiots that may cross my path.

Am loving ya.

Love Letters

2011-01-07T06:53:00.000-08:00

Remember Carrie Bradshaw? Who doesnt right..Sarah Jessica Parker was so gorgeous head to toe in Sex in the City..and that 2500$ heels..wait wait i'm going too far..The point is there was one scene that really got stuck in my mind..it was the scene where Carrie was lying on the bed reading and sharing the content of a love letter with Mr Big at her side..*squeal!!*..this is just so overdosed with romance it should be illegal!

But anyway the most important thing is i got a hold of the book!Apparently it was just a film prop in the beginning meaning there's really no such book..but some publisher has managed to take the advantage of the story line and compile some good pieces and boom! i bet they have good sales after the movie!Its titled "Love Letters by Great Men"..i've just started but it is just the kind of book that will provide you with light drama and some entertainment and a lot " sigh this is so romantic" moment. I highly recommend this to the cynics that says they dont believe in love..afterall this proof over centuries ago..time for someone to put your faith in the right place huh..
Anyone this one is my fav so far..

"Canst thou change it,
that thou are not entirely mine,
I not entirely thine?Oh God,
look into the beautiful nature and
compose your mind of the inevitable."

"What longing in tears for you
You-my Life-my All,
farewell.Oh go on loving me,
never doubt the faithfullest heart.
Of your beloved,L.

Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

From Beethoven to his Immortal Beloved.Give love letters a chance at least they're better than emails and texts which become the death of romance, qouting the editor Ursula Doyle!

Who am I?

2011-01-04T23:02:00.000-08:00

Well..look at my blog! It has a new look and i'm loving it! So as usual this is the time for new year resolution..so here we go..

Let start with what i have accomplished in 2010..may i just stress that one of my most proud of achievement includes cutting my hair..now now not just trimming..i have chopped off i think 2/3 of its original length..Thinking back..i didnt quite know what got into me..i was sporting a damn long hair for a while..it took some crazy and ''brain not working'' moment for me to pull it off on myself!

And what?! Oh I PASSED ALL SUBJECTS EXCLAMATION MARK(even got A for some =P)

Besides some random sometimes meaningless stuff that i have done..i guess one of the most profound change that happened to me is that i have opened up my eyes and mind to the entrepreneurial, finance, business world..i no longer think that i am just meant to be a chemist or any other random job..instead i can and indeed should go after my wildest dream!! i am capable of being the female Mark Zuckerberg, i am capable of owning something worth billions of dollars, i am capable of changing the world or be a market changer and etc.. Suddenly it dawned on me that i can do anything and be anything that i want and only if i want it badly and the world is so much more that what you can perceive from your text books or even from your parents (cough cough sometimes rather shallow and timid opinions)p/s: dad if u ever read this! I love ya lots!..And this revelation changes everything!

So what new year resolution should i be setting? None! nobody ever fulfill all of their resolutions(me included)! So i'm not gonna be bothered this time..

But i do know now who i want to be this year.

Its probably gonna take more than 2011 to achieve it but if the world doesn't end in 2012 i'll have a big fat chance of being the best Ying Ling could be!

So besides Ying Ling feel free to call me the

Aspiring Future Warren Buffett
Aspiring Future Mark Zuckerberg
Aspiring Future Category Creator
Aspiring Future Changer
Aspiring Future Entrepreneur of the year
Aspiring Future Bestseller Author
Desperately Aspiring Future Billionaire!

I wont be too ~dreamy now~ i know its gonna take more screw ups then all the total screw ups in the past 22 years..but heck i'm going to press on till my last breath! So my dear friends! Lets stay healthy together!

Cos our BEST DAYS are definitely ahead us!

Happy new year! We're so owning 2011!

3 things

2010-06-01T07:48:00.000-07:00

Anonymous : 3 things real men can't say, I'm wrong, I'm lost, I can't fix it.

Me : 3 things i can't bring myself to say now, You're wrong, You disappointed me, What happened to us?

My Mama

2010-05-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

I love ya , my mama!

For you are the best listener,

For you are the best supporter,

For you have always tried to be the best mother.

I love ya, my mama!

For you throw out your doubts for me,

For you believing me at all cost,

For you have always respected my decisions,

For you have never demanded anything more than i can be.

I love ya , my mama!

For you have loved me longer,

For you have loved me more,

For you have loved me beyond my CGPA,

For you have loved me despite your complaints about my weight,

For you have loved me in the most difficult time for us.

I love ya, my mama,

Now and always,

For you are the world's greatest mother,

I love ya,

Simply because you're my mama!

Teacher Susan

2010-05-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

When i was still trying to master "My Memory"..i suddenly miss my organ teacher, Susan.I remember her as a small sized lady with big eyes who shared my love for charm bracelet back then. I remember she has pretty but short fingers for piano.I remember how she put up with my lack of practice back then. I remember how we love to talk about disney songs. Above all, i remember her as a remarkable musician!

Until today, i cant forget how her eyes literally sparkle when she was playing a piece. That amount of concentration, focus, passion are overwhelming.Like knowing you have found a place where you really belonged.. like music is exactly the talent she should dwell on..And how right she is!

And ever since i noticed that, i cant stop wondering what will make my eyes sparkle? what make yours?

Love is knowing when to let go.

2010-05-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

My father's friend is having a lot trouble with his 28 year old daughter. And i must say i understand where these fathers are coming from, but i just cant bring myself to agree with them.

I believe a child is forever bonded to his or her family by blood, and no doubt we are loved from the moment we take our first breath to our our very last no matter how rare we hear those precious words. But as we grow we learn to make choices, be responsible for the kind of choices we made. As we make mistake, we learn and we grow.

There will come a time when we dont want to stay under your wings and be sheltered. There will be time when we made the choice that we want to go out there and experience life's bitter and sweet. There will be a time we beg to differ from you. There will be a time where we choose against you. But all these doesnt mean we dont love you..doesnt mean we dont respect you..doesnt mean we dont need you anymore in our life.

It simply means we need to live our life our way preferably with your support within earshot. Love is knowing when to let go. Love is understanding that we will screw up something someday..but love is also about saying.."Go ahead but if you screw up, i'll always be here."

The Passionate 22

2010-04-13T09:54:00.000-07:00

The idea that i'm already 22 definitely has not settled in me. Every year i feel as if i get cooler and calmer about celebrating my birthday.. excited in some way but just not as thrilled as i was younger. I either want something entirely different, or just a simple celebration with family and close friends. But this year while i go from 21 to 22, my thoughtful friends have given me one of the best celebrations ever. Not because they bring me to classy expensive restaurant, not that they shower me with luxurious gifts, not that they invited the whole village to come but the very fact that they went out of their normal way to give me a memorable 22.

It was a surprise! They brought me to Agathians. Agathians is a shelter for underprivileged children and where i go every Sunday for activities with the kids.It is the very place where i have discovered my passion for children.Its the place and the bunch of kids that inspired me to do more than i'm doing right now.Let me just say, the kids are definitely not angelic and they can be mean,annoying and sometimes really rude. But despite everything, i know i love them..each and everyone of them.I love it when Ah Choo comes to me with his toy truck in one hand and grab my hand in his other free hand and tells me that, "i love u teacher".I doubt he knows what it means..but it was still very nice.I was so happy when Chee Keong starts being polite and take my advise to read "Around the world in 80 days". I was so moved when Hari insisted on giving me his Transformer (Its still in my car). I smiled when Poobalan will suddenly just jumped onto my lap and ask me about the blue wolf story i read to him. It makes me feel excited listening to the way Siddha talked about our AIESEC interns and some footballer whose name i dont remember. I'm so relieved when finally Bosmani is able to open up to me instead of being mean every time.

I have made so much memories with them.And i would like to think and hope that i was able to bring to them some positive changes in whatever way. Although sometimes i really feel these kids taught me so much more than i have ever taught them. And it means the world to be able to celebrate my birthday with them. To listen to their birthday song, to look at the birthday card they wrote to me ( My name goes from Yine Ling to Ming Ling, and u have happy brithe day..got bellse u and etc), to look at the birthday cake they held for me..it feels so right!

So thank you my pang pang and friends..it was one heck of a celebration!
I love u all..i really do!

They insist on blindfolding me! Surprise surprise..

22 years old so blow 2 candles i guess?!

Thrilled!
Birthday card

I love u all!

Hard to believe!

2010-04-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

Just had lunch with 2 friends from Beijing. They told me so much about China that i just cant believe.

Unbelievable thing no. 1 , the prices of property. Apparently they told me 1 square metres cost RMB38000.An AVERAGE apartment cost RMB 2 million, a house cost RMB 10 million, a luxurios one cost RMB 20 million onwards. I'm like.."WHAT!!". If you can earn only an average of RMB 20000-30000 yearly,how can it cost so much to buy a house? What a precious lesson on price and value!

Unbelievable thing no. 2, we all have heard about the one child policy right. Apparently, if u want to have a second child, what ppl do is that they go to HK or US to give birth. And the whole process should be illegal and can cost about RMB 2 million onwards..Its amazing that ppl will go to such extent just because they want to have another offspring..Dont know what to say really.

Unbelievable thing no. 3, i speak mandarin like Hongkie. No way..my pronunciation is better.

But all in all.. I'm sure China is an interesting place. I'm even thinking to go to TeoChew and see what kind of place my great grandparents came from. Maybe the whole village is full of ppl with the surname Tan. Erm..interesting.

Uncle Thoo

2010-04-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

I really miss my uncle thoo today! He is approaching 60, full of sense of humour, fatherly, cheerful and just someone you would love talking to. I miss the way he called me Ying Ying, how he will always tell me his childhood stories, how he just say.."Oh no..you're not fat" whenever i refused chocolate in his home, how he is always telling me to introduce him to my boyfriend so he could help examine him, above all i love the way that he has somehow treated me like his daughter.

He has 3 children..all of whom have grown up and seems to be too very busy for their old man. He lives with his wife and although i always see nothing but the joyous old man that he is, i know that he is lonely and missed his children terribly. But being a good father, he would set them free knowing that they are happy. He doesnt see them often..after all New York and UK are not exactly like Kuching and Sibu.

Few months back..he scared the hell out of us when he was admitted into the hospital. My dad even went back just to visit him. Thank god he made it through. Thank god for not taking away my uncle thoo. I cant describe the fear and relief that surged through me after i heard that he has made a speedy recovery.

My love for this old man exceeded any bond i have felt for my father's extended family. Weird as it sounds, uncle thoo feels more like family to me than anyone else in kuching.I know i will always adore this old man..this old man who seems to understand me a lot even though he doesnt see me often, this old man whose words i can really relate to despite the age difference, this old man i will always come to regard as another fatherly figure in my life, this old man who will always have a big place in my heart.

Dearest uncle thoo, may you always be in the pink of health. Oh no..you said pink was not enough! Red HOT then!!

Hours for Minutes

2009-01-19T19:11:00.000-08:00

I just finished my presentation this morning about the concept of "Yin & Yang"(I know your reaction,dun frown yet)..Its actually not that bad since i always have a thing for history..furthermore this is like a going back to your roots kind of thing..so i really enjoy it.

Honestly speaking, i think this is one of my best presentation..Imagine borrowing and carrying heaps of books from the library,going through each of them scanning for information,search on the net,go back to the syllabus if you're missing something and finally completing the slide show.It takes no less than 3 hours for me.Well,sometimes you might come to a dead end and think that what you are writing is not as relevant as you thought...so you go back and edit it one more time,hoping that this time it will be just nice and is in perfect flow.I know perfect is a big word..but if you really work on it,it really does approach the big word.

And so came the presentation and Q & A,I did it in less than 10 minutes.So can you grasp the picture? You spent hours preparing a presentation and completing it in less than 10 minutes.Thats how it is...It shows that in order to build something on good ground and equip it with substance,flow and style,it takes time and efforts no matter how short lived the outcome will be.Very much like a dancer,practicing and perfecting dance moves for years before steping on stage to show her best and receive the well deserved applause.

You just have to decide for yourself whether or not it is worth it.Damn! I wish i was as much of a perfectionist when it comes to chemistry..I'll try hard..Cheers!

Haha!!Miracle!!

2009-01-13T06:41:00.000-08:00

One word can describe my day perfectly-GREAT!

1st..it was the very entertaining Gossip Girls series..then my shopping session which was totally fruitful and therapeutic.By then...i was in such good mood that everything just brghten up my day..oh,btw i figure i ll just put the traffic jams and those drivers that get on my nerves away for a while..

Anyway the most most most IMPORTANT thing of the day was..I can do Maths!!OMG...even i cant believe it myself..i literally got through most of the questions myself and actually got it right!Can you imagine that?! And hey mind you..its not some easy piece of crap ok..it was something similar to my form 6 maths.But having never understood it back then..and now being able to solve the questions myself and may i stress...completely by myself(except the really hard ones),it meant so much!!I'm on the verge of jumping up from my chair and say "I finally got it!!".
You have no idea..what its like to listen to your lecturer babble and not getting in a word...how frustrating it is sometimes to not understand how did you get so incompetent in the things you were so good at..

But now i feel differently this time around,like things are getting into the right places,like I finally broke out of the stupidity cloud that surrounds me for far too long.Felt like i just move this one hell of a stopping stone off my path.Never felt this miraculous for a while! Cheers!

Change

2008-12-25T08:19:00.000-08:00

Quoting myself.."Change is inevitable".Quoting my inner more cowardly self.."I'm blardy afraid of change!!"Ironic i know.But its so much more comfortable to not change than change,so much easier to not realize change than to acknowledge change.
One day,when i took a stroll out of my comfort zone,i realize it was tough and painful because it means for you to let go of a few beliefs that you hold on to,for you to see what you have failed to see before.It means for you to understand that people is not like what you have imagined simply because they too are changing.It means that now there are new things to do,there are things you no longer have or you must live without.
Goodness help!!I dont know what i'm trying to say ...i think i have serious writers block.

Inspired by Kopi

2008-10-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

My mum and I were chased or more like stalked by a stray dog name Kopi.Yes,according to my mum most stray dogs are named Kopi.We were both terrified by this unwanted stalker,fearing that it would give us a bite.There is no one else around so all we could do was walk as fast as we can to the car.When we were about to reach the car,i turned around and saw that Kopi was right behind me.Well i am actually quite into having a pet dog,but then again who wouldnt be afraid of a stalking stray dog.But the point is,as scared as we were,we were actually more sympathetic of Kopi.My mum said he must be very hungry.So we decided to feed him with something we have.My mum gave him a nyonya kuih we bought from the pasar malam,although we should have gone with the fishball.But anyway,we managed to escape into the car.

And it got me thinking,all these pitiful stray animals they must have came from somewhere but probably are forgotten by somebody.Haih..what happens when they are caught and forced to be put to sleep.I cried watching it this afternoon.All these cruelty and suffering we selfish human beings have inflicted upon these innocent creatures.How they look at you when they know their lives are coming to an end.Sad really.I better not get too emotional.So people,if you have a pet go get them neutered.If you are intending of getting one,try the animal shelter homes.Yup!!All these in the spirit of making a difference and lessening the number of Kopi on the street.

Diplomat?

2008-10-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

I really think i am becoming more of a diplomat everyday.Moving between separate worlds becomes my next hobby.

Like a 12-year-old.

2008-09-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Hopefully i wont "outgrow" it anytime soon.

My father bought a new set of matress sheet for me.It is rather cute and girly but also extremely 12-year-old as you can see above.Haha looking at his taste,i guess i'm always the little girl.But then i am perfectly fine with it,i really think deep down inside us,we dont wanna grow up so fast.We sometimes resist the cruel and hypocritical world by trying to be rebelious and have crazy fun.We dont want to grow up so fast so the time for us to take up real responsibility,to have to deal with those painfully difficult people would be later.As i can see with so many people i met,the price of making a mistake can be so much higher when you are no longer a school kid,how it truly is difficult to stay true to yourself while racing with the ever changing world outside to keep up.All the down sides when you step into the real world.

But as faith has taught us,there is always the bright side of things.I guess when we step into the real world one day,we would really learn to be independent,to answer to ourselves ...challenges are inevitable and hopefully it brings out the best in us.And for those who cant wait to grow up and get the hell out of their present life,i say..."chill lah kawan...the time will come for you to spread you wings and fly away.."

Life is going to be different at some point but just as beautiful just in another way.After all,a saying goes like this,its not what happens to you,its what you do about it.So people..rejoice!

My Saturday!

2008-08-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

Right..right so i got pretty much to blog about today.Lets begin okay,as the usual "bookaholic",my father and I went to the popular bookfair in ikano-our usual hang out place.The place was super congested as a stretch of the main road was closed down to make place for the merdeka count down.And i was thinking...merdeka count down..erm patriotic.So so the point was we spent almost an hour at the bookfair mining for "gold".Haha i went searching and digging at the piles and piles of english books priced from as low as RM1...then the neat piles of chinese books.Hunting for books is so fun in the sense that when you found something you like..you can be so excited that you can feel the rush of adrenaline and not to mention sometimes you have to dig as deep as you can like the chinese proverb "the best thing is always at the bottom" so it really is hard work..lol.My hunt was rather fruitful as i got not less than 10 books at less than a 100 bucks.Brilliant me!!I realise i looked rather messed up when i left the place.You try squeezing between people and people carrying heaps of books.But then no complaint though!

Then after that i pretty much spent most of the afternoon reading..and keep reading.Wonderful..and i managed to finish a chinese book in 4 hours..continuously.It is the typical type of chinese love story.This is the first i read.I usually dont even bothered about picking one up as i was rather stereotypical too thinking that they are nothing but dramatic and shallow.But then after this book,i really ought to eat my words.This book is not too bad and i should say not all are bad too.Yes..it is mostly lovey-dovey stuff...but then isnt most books based on that too.Seems like it really is the main theme of books these days.So thankfully i feel like "dont judge a book by its cover" today or else i would have hold that misled opinion for a longer time.

Then there was the late dinner with mitchell that i just came back from.We went to ss2 and we were looking for parking and when we saw one,i was so truly excited that i didnt realise there was this big hole right before the drain.And before we know it..damn i have my right front tyre trapped in the big hole and worse i cant get it out!I got out of the car and see..oh dear the hole was really deep and no matter how hard i step on the accelerator my car just didnt move an inch.Then we were really panicking and totally helpless..what was two girls supposed to do now?!It scares us even more when we dont even know to whom should we call for help since both our fathers are not at home.Then there came a young man from behind us and offer to help.Gosh..i cant tell you how relieved i was.He saw whats the problem then asked me to first straighten my steering wheel..I was already so panicky that i remember asking him "how?" which seems so embrassing now and i was on the verge of getting out and ask him to do it.Then he helped me with it.Then he stood right beside the front tyre and ask me to step hard when he lift it up.I nodded.Then with much effort he lifted it up a little bit and my car was free!!We said thank you so many times..but when i want to turn around to thank him again he was gone.What a nice guy..my hero of the night..not everyone would have the heart to help or feel the need to help.Bless him bless him..i even have the thought of buying him dinner..but then he left too soon and we dont have enough money too.Twice i bump into this car problem..and twice my father was not around too so i really got help from these good samaritans.Once my tyre was punctured in Seri Kembangan..i want to ask help from my friend also difficult luckily an uncle changed the tyre for me.Cold sweat cold sweat..

Haha maybe i should learn some basic skills to handle these kind of unexpected incidents.So people call me if you see any workshop for this!So this is how i spent my saturday..not really eventful but rather satisfying.Cheers!!

"My new found treasures"

Read..read and read...

2008-08-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

Okay..i am just so completely into reading these few days and it cant be good considering i have a few tests next week.I dont know what got into me..i just feel like keep reading and reading.I would normally take a few weeks to finish a book,just take my own sweet time enjoying it.But it is different this time.I use little more than a day to finish a chinese book not once but almost twice.Read it over and over again..laugh at the same part i laughed,get my heart broken at the same part before and enjoying it more and more everytime.

Its like you dont care at all what will happen tomorrow as long as you can keep reading.I just love how it feels like when i indulge myself in a different world.Feel different feelings...this author is not bad at all,she is a legend in the chinese writing world.I guess reading provides me with some sort of a sanctuary..it is where you can turn to anytime and just forget your problem for a while and follow where the story takes you.It is time when you can let your imagination roams free and think of yourself as who ever you want to be,absolutely wonderful!!

I really think besides green tea ice-cream,teddy bears and french fries...books is one of human beings' greatest idea!!Cheers to all the authors i respect and admire above all..Haha gtg..bookworm is me.

To Be Forgiving

2008-08-13T02:09:00.000-07:00

I am a very simple person.I do not have too much of anger and hatred in me.Even when i am extremely pist off by somebody,the anger and frustration would normally disappear within at most 2 days.

But like life,there is always exception.Lately i am just so mad at this particular person.Not that i think about it all the times but on some unfortunate events i'm being painfully reminded.It is what she does that hurts me most painfully.I shall not go into details as it most probably will involve too many people.

But what i have learned is that, we truly cannot expect everyone in the world to be like us.Not everyone is entitled to treating us respectfully and with compassion.And there will always be people who constantly brings out the worst in us..pushing us to a point where we really have to be mean and harsh as opposite to what we strive to become.

There is so much more in life than to become such an angry and pist off person.We always have a choice,just dont let anyone stand in the way of us becoming who we really desire.I know its easier said than done but eventually we really have to be forgiving and let it go.It just take times and some willingness.And today..i think i can do so and hope i always can when required.

Until then..Cheers!!

Something new!

2008-06-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

I always have the feeling that i have wasted my time a lot after a long holiday because i ll look back and probably be able to see something more beneficial and constructive to do but didnt do.So as the saying goes,we should not live our life in regrets,i have decided to take up a foreign language.Hahaha why am i offering so many reasons,the truth is i just like the idea of learning another language and at time like this,its really not a bad idea to turn the focus back on yourself through learning.So the language i pick is French.Well not exactly because French is seemingly connected to anything romantic but simply because its one of the most spoken language in European countries and as according to my dad,mastering another language can only do you more good and no harm.

So today was my first class,my class is consist of almost 10 peoples from all walks of life.I was the second youngest and have classmates from age 19 to 30's.Interestingly,when i settled down,and the teacher who is a Jamaican started talking in some funny language,i immediately thought i was in the wrong class.But turns out he was speaking French and only he alone is comprehending as the rest of us looked equally clueless.Guess i really wasnt accustomed to not understanding a single word people utter,but then i think i ll get use to it.So then today we learn some really basic salutation,presentation and etc in French..i wasnt tougue-tied as i thought i would be but it is rather challenging to get the pronounciation right and at the same time remember what it means.There was time when the teacher asked us one by one like we were supposed to answer whats our name,how old are we kind of questions..i just looked at him and went blank like he literally just drain me of what i have just learned.A few moments of silence and he replied.."Maybe later..." which cause the whole class to giggle a little...I was like "damn!!i knew the answers just minutes ago.."and went red a little.The class lasted for two hours,although it was slightly tiring for me as i go there straight after work and dinner,but it was worth it and satisfying.

And as i really should turn in and get some beauty sleep,Aurevoir!! (which means goodbye in French..i just checked in my notes..lol).

Attention Ppl!!

2008-05-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Hey people, if you are young and fun and simply into fashion..well not only for the sake of looking good but also to appear presentable then let me introduce to you...

For Him.....http://especially-4-u-station.blogspot.com

For Her.....http://style-shopaholic.blogspot.com

Knock yourself out and have fun!!

(p/s: fren fren...you know you damn love me de...xoxo!!)

God Bless Us!

2008-05-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

I'm now exhausted and tired from work.But i have the strongest ever urge to blog this.Like we all know,two natural disasters have hit China and Myanmar recently.And when natures hit,they can cause really severe impact,in fact they already did.The Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar have taken away so many precious lives and left its people injured,homeless and devastated from the loss of their loves one.The city was reduced to almost nothing but ruins.What was more ironic i read from some where was that even though help are pouring into the country,some of the aid organisation and agency actually have to beg the military government to let them in to help.While the massive earthquake in the Sichuan province in China measuring to a magnitude of 7.9 if i'm not mistaken has shocked the entire nation.Not only was it the most serious earth quake to occur for the last three decades,but the even more pressing issue now is that aid cannot be efficiently delivered to the worst struck area due to the main access road being blocked by wreckage from the earthquake.

It was so heartbreaking and devastating to look at the state of the victims both dead and alive.I was watching this live broadcast from China, i see how the rescue team tried to dig out people buried in the debris,there was a school that collapsed and killed 900 school children and teachers,people was injured,bloody,tired, hungry,cold and above all scared.There were people who cried and broke down beside the corpse of their loves one.There were also hundreds of people who actually have to take refuge besides piles and piles of dead bodies because the aid agency is too busy attending to the ones alive. Imagine the kind of pain and fear that situation would have inflicted on any human.Children are crying,adults are sobbing...but what can they do.Basically nothing but wait,wait for more help to arrive,wait for their family to appear safe and sound before their eyes,wait for food ,wait for medical aid,wait for a miracle to stop this nightmare.How hopeless the world must have seemed to them.

And yet,one may wonder why is this happening?Why are these horrible things keep happening to human beings?I dunno how u look at it,but deep down in my heart i keep having the feelings that mother earth is actually reacting to all the damages we have done to her.She is starting to avenge us, punishing us for not appreciating for all we did was take but never to give.Think about it,first tsunami then this,god knows if its gonna snow in Thailand!I know they call it the natural disasters..it was unforeseen and unexpected.But get a grip!With that much of damages done to the environment,all the green house gases,carbon dioxide,cleared forest,and tonnes and tonnes of biologically undegradable rubbish that we created,one can NEVER expect earth to be like how it was 30 years back.That would simply be foolish and ilogical.Somehow i just instinctively tied these disasters to all the things we did and didnt do for environment.I may be wrong for all reasons,and i wish it was too.At least then we can clear our conscience and say that was completely none of our(human beings) fault.But keep in mind,living in denial will not lead you anywhere.

I know it is way too cliche these days if you tell people to seriously think about what u can do for environment.Be it recycle,save water and electricity,reduce the usage of plastic...anything at all.It might not seemed like a big deal to not recycle after all everybody is like that.Nobody is doing it so why bothered?Wrong wrong wrong!!It doesnt matter if you cant get the entire neighbourhood to do it,nobody can change the world overnight but the important thing is you wanting to be a part of it,you making an effort no matter how insignificant you think it is.Do something,make a difference.There is still an option for us now,dun wait till we ran out of it.

The Last & First Day

2008-03-23T23:47:00.000-07:00

Today would be the last day of me being 19 years old,in fact i'm just 1 hour away from turning 20.So it means i'm saying goodbye to the last 19 years and hello to a new stage....the 20's.They say if u get on to 20,it will be like just a blink of an eye when u hit 29 then 30 then older and older...erm pretty true,time really flies especially when u dun pay attention to it.I still remember vividly going to school on the 1st day then wondering how was i going to be when i hit 18..then "BOOM!!"..i'm turning 20 in just TOMORROW.

Lets just put it this way,2007 has not really been a fabulous year for me.I didnt give it all my best for my studies from the beginning and thus resulted in a mere satisfactory results.I didnt set my priority straight and caused myself to stray too far away from my real goal.I indulge too much in pleasure and gave insufficient attention to the serious business.I have also some other incidents which can only be said as too unlucky!..But besides that the lesson i have learnt is that i m not determined enough,didnt not give enough effort and probably just aint intelligent enough to notice it earlier...But hell screw it! I cant rewind and undo all the mistakes i did nor can i just copy and paste previous successes.So there really is no point looking back and whine.The faster u can find out about your mistakes, and the faster u chose to deal with it and change it,the faster u can move on in your life,and therefore the faster u can expect the next best thing to happen.
So wat i'm saying is that...no matter how badly i have fell when i'm 19 ...i got up from it.I manage to keep my chin up and say.."I know i screwed up..i'll just make sure i wont do that again."I think thats good enough at least for me it is.

So i'm kind of glad my 20th birthday is here.Its like closing one door behind you...but bring together the lesson u have learnt and all the great memories with extraordinary people i have met along the way..all the wonderful things i have done..and open another door right in front of you which i have no idea now which way it will lead me to.The feeling of a new found confidence and some new thoughts to fill into the missing place deep under is beyond any words can ever describe.

So...hey 20's!!I'm coming!!

Damn Indians!! (p/s: i'm not a racist)

2008-03-22T01:45:00.000-07:00

Today was one hell of a day....

There was this young indian guy who came up to my working place and started looking for somebody that doesnt really exist.Then minutes later,he came back up with another friend asking me the same damn question!God,i m so mad at myself that that wasnt enough to raise my alarm.Then minutes later when these two "good for nothing","disgrace of society",......and blardy bastards that are total rubbish..(And please do me the favour of fitting any more nasty words)are shoo-ed from my place.I realised my phone which was placed on the table was gone.

I started panicking...then fumble in my bag,call my phone and my phone was still no where to be found.I told my boss...and we both rushed down to see if those 2 idiots are still there...Well deep down...we know those idiots wont be as idiotic as we thought...and the chances of finding them and my phone were less than zero.And soon we have to give up.Damn!

What happens next,i believe you can paint the picture yourself.Get a little nagging from your parents...lodged a police report...have that sim card blocked...lost a nice phone..All these damn things because of my own blunder and of course those 2 indians.On the way back, i just cant stop scolding and cursing them both..hating them so deeply and cursing them whatever they steal from me and others..they ll lose more in the end....all the pain and trouble they caused...they have worse in return.I was filled with anger most on them then a part of it on me.My boss says sometimes i'm just too naive while my dad says i'm just too kind and expect no one but good guys and fine ladies to cross my path...tat there were no such things as bad guys who do bad things.Haih now that really hurts.

But what really broke my heart came after that.When i thought of all the messages that i have kept for months..all the unsaved pictures...all the lost contacts..and of course my beautiful phone which was also a birthday present.Haih...this is just so unfair!! Why do i deserve this?I never do anything harmful to anyone...Why do bad things like this happen to good people?

What makes me feel worse is that i get emotionally attached to an item easily.I value them not only for their price but for all the meanings and memories they carry.For example,my little grey teddy bear,I love him so much beyond everything despite the fact that it looked really old and worn out already because he has been my bestest fren since forever even before i can speak,he was sleeping beside me..See it wasnt the material but the memories that makes it priceless.Haih and now..i look at the phone my fren borrowed me,then i thought of the moment me n my frens hang on the phone for so long that i have to hang up because i felt my ear was burning..all the sweet and lame sms...my pictures!!! All gone!!GONE!

Haih...i just felt so bad.But i do appreciate the effort my parents and mitchell did to cheer me up..especially my mum."Let them fall and roll off the stairs and have their front teeth broken!"..."Let them have their hands hurt and ankles sprained!...Haha my mum...not too bad sometimes.

My Name

2008-02-15T02:37:00.000-08:00

Yes.....i can be so lazy...but i'm making up for it now....

So, my name is Ying Ling (rite..its a state the obvious thing here..) but then again i have a story to tell.Normally...i'm called fren,kawan,ah ling,tyl,the mean ones (think they are so cool ppl) call me ah fei or fei po...hello....i begged so much to differ..lol!! The courteous ones which includes a lot of people call me by my real name and dont give me nicknames.The "i have no idea who's who" calls me and perhaps everyone else "ooi!!...hey!!...eh you!!"Not very nice but that is not my point.

The point is i realised what i was missing yesterday.Sometimes you just dont take notice of these kind of petty stuff,but when it hits you...it can hits you right in the place where it can continues to bring out so much more..I was working and was determined to finish off some work.And then i heard .."Ying..."feelings were all soaring inside of me as if my middle name and solely it has struck the most important chord.I felt myself softened towards everything...probably at that particular moment i would have bought all the things the salesman has been trying to sell me...I looked at the one who said that seemingly amazing word and felt as if we have been brought closer.Suddenly the thousand miles of gap between us just closed up because all of a sudden i was being addressed like a friend.

Not that the rest didnt treat me like their friend but this time and only this time felt so incredibly different.The impact just went so deep into the soul that i cant stopped feeling so amazed and puzzled at the same time.I dont know what could have caused the difference.The person who said it?The tone?The expressions?The body language?Or was i just being down right paranoid or sensitive?I really dont think so...Its like the friendship rekindled with a good old friend..magical.

What Kind?!

2008-01-20T23:10:00.000-08:00

What kind of a guy will pinch his friend's ear,may i stress that his friend is a girl and cause her to fall off her seat and then laughed his head off...."tut..........."What kind of friend will force her friend,again let me emphasize her friend is a girl to buy lottery for her dad and get surrounded by "ma lat lou".What kind of friend will make alliance with each other and constantly bully their friend for over hours..What kind of friend will just do all those terrible things...what happened to this world..sigh sigh sigh...
I know i'm being a bit dramatic..but whats life without a bit of drama?...And as much as we pretend to curse,tease and eff each other and hate each other,but deep down we know we had a great time!!

When At Work

2008-01-20T01:27:00.000-08:00

It is very interesting the kind of people and things that you can come across at work.Even though i would think that my job revolves around a very small circle of people,they never fail to surprise you.So there was this little boy,okay form 1 boy whom i have been given the noble responsibility to babysit him,okay keep an eye on him while he waits for his mum.God,this has immediately transfered back to my form 1.I remembered how my dad has almost forbidden me to go to sport house practice just because i have to walk to school alone.I dun remember how i always managed to go in the end and most definitely why i wanted to go in the 1st place as i was never exactly that keen on sports.Or the countless lecture of walking against the traffic,beware of strangers,or be alert that kind of thing...of course i understand perfectly well the purpose of all that my parents did and i accepted it willingly but then again i vividly remembered how it feels like to be the super protected child in front of your friends.It must have been awkward and embarassing.So taking his feelings into consideration,i didnt want to make him feel uneasy as if some one has to babysit him..so i just keep some distance and survey anything before me.Then,i start to have some really casual conversation with him.Every question i asked came back with merely a 1 or 2 words answer.And every inch i step closer to him,he would just naturally back away few feets to the extent i fear he would just run off on me.Thankfully he didnt,we waited together for 20 minutes.I was just so amused at him,and cant stop wondering if i was the same when i was his age...and i thought...nah...I CANT be!!

Then again there was these 2 indians who seemed to be like father and son.As soon as i opened the door,the son just came trampling all over the place in his shoes...and he didnt seem to understand my request for him to take off his shoes..And this man start showing me some card with a coffee name on it.Then only i understand these 2 are trying to sell me stuff..It was so hard to understand their english that i have to strain my ears so much.And as i politely declined,he was just so insistent that i at least try the tester or something...i was like HELL NO!!I'm taking no drinks from a stranger besides they hardly look like any salesman.I went on for minutes trying to tell him no...in the end he would only leave when i promise to take down his numbers and have people to phone him if they are interested...As if that wasnt enough he still pester me for a while before i politely hold the door...indicating that i want them to leave. God..what is wrong with them, when people say no to you shouldnt you just smile say thank you and leave?And most importantly don go dirtying my spotless floor with your shoes....Later on i told my boss about it and saw his face..and after all his advise on what to do next time,i suddenly realise how the situation could have easily gone bad..while making a mental note for myself to not open door to any salesman..i really think that all of us especially the girls should keep our guards up more often these days.So as for my job,it is at a very stagnant stage as in you go through the same routine days after days,listen to the same music on my mp3,and always be in the constant dilemma of what to eat for lunch...but anyway i guess i have adapted to the lifestyle pretty good.I guess when some thing or place becomes your sanctuary,you ll look forward to it.

I like it!!

2008-01-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

So when we are in school,we long for holidays.When we are on holidays,we long for something more interesting to fill our days.How typical was that...but whatever as i ll keep my promise.
So as i was just lying on my the couch and reading after 2 hours of my new favourite reality show.I felt slightly bored but like the feeling of actually feeling bored these days.At least i'm not all stressed out nor am i grumpy and go around moaning to every soul i meet.I can only remember feeling so during the very last holidays after SPM.Come to think of it now,how splendid it is to be able to feel bored ,at least after that you can do whatever you wish.You dun have to feel guilty to head out for supper because you still have no clue what your chemistry teacher was mumbling about.Hah!! That was so over already..
So anyway,i dont know what else to say.Screw it!! Have many great days ahead everyone!!
And to my dearest and most adorable fren of whom i have taken the selfish advantage to take it out on you yesterday,a thousand apologies...I love you lots!!

Blog Blog Blog!!

2008-01-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

Ok perhaps i really should resume blogging before aaron complains further and getting another lousy blog comment from john..so anyway what is there to be said...sorry i'm going to get all deep and emo-ish here..
Lets see wat happened to me lately.I lost someone.I have regrets for so many things i could do but didnt.I failed to win the love of my love and now have decided to give up and move on.I have my confidence crushed again as things don turn out to be the way i want them to.I have my heart broken when the person i rely on so much failed to give me support when i most needed it.I felt so insecure now as i m too sure far worse and unbareable things are going to happen.I feel that one day i will be walking alone.If i ever fall, no one is going to be there.
Yes,at that moment my life sucks,and so do i...its one of the darkest period of my life.When something bad happens,it just doesnt stop there...it continues to trigger another series of unfortunate events.For many days back,i just spent so much effort fighting back tears that are welling in my eyes,stopping myself to weep on my bed,trying so hard to be in control...as a matter of fact i dun remember having ever shed so much tears like i did through out 2007.
But for all of u thats reading this,dun worry i'm not going to get all depressed and continued to cry cry and cry in the dark corner.What is done is done..nothing can be changed even if i shed a tonne of tears.So really,i'm perfectly fine now...life is really too short to be lived in constant self inflicted misery.
As for now,i'm trying to live the best of out my life..try to make amends.So whatever happens next,i'll live on!!Like they say..people are like teabags,you need to put them into hot water before you can know how strong they are.And now i just keep amazing myself for all the strength and intelligence i didnt know i have that get me through all the hot water!!So cheers you people!!Celebrate life,celebrate yourself as you really can be more than you can ever think of!! And i'm sorry i wont be so dark,deep and emotional next time...i promise!!

The Long Awaited Moment

2007-12-27T23:10:00.000-08:00

I always like to go to bookstore.One of my favourite being the Borders at The Curve.I have never tell anyone about this, bookstore especially this one seems to have some sort of charm that works on me.Everytime i walked into them,i felt belonged as if i have walked into the embrace of my lover.And when i smell the wonderful scent of books,i felt the special pull that nothing but these books have on me.Perhaps it was the environment,the atmosphere,the decorations that put me at ease and prompted me to fall in love with it but who cares as long as i still like it.

I haven been reading much as i have been too busy playing ever since my holidays started and not to mention my work which has been piling up for some time.I have many books waiting to be read at home but that didnt stop me from hanging out at Borders at Times Square.Oh one thing now i remember,one of my fren asked me...dont u ever feel bored always being by yourself?I was amused because clearly you dont know me enough if you would ask that question.In places like this,i felt too belonged to feel bored just because i'm alone and besides,i already have one of the many best things in life as my company.So going back,as i was just flipping through books,making a new to-buy list,i suddenly realised a man standing in front of me.I looked up and looked the man in his face.Familiar i thought but who exactly..then after bout 5 seconds...i yelled "Sir!!"The man smiled at me and say "What u doing here?" as if he cant believed his eyes for seeing me.This man who made my day was my former math tuition teacher,a man in his fifties with most grey hairs covering his head,big dark circles under his eyes,eyes that didnt seem to be able to focus on 1 point when he talks so u thought he wasnt looking at you when he is.And one thing that was really interesting..he oftens speak with such excitement especially when things are really profound.A very interesting character to me...

Anyway it all begins when he showed me the books he bought,one of it was written by a former St John's student and again i heard him talked with such passion.And then he accused me of just knowing C.S Lewis because he wrote the Chronicles of Narnia..And i was like"What nonsense!"Maybe i dont know all about literature but i surely know more than that.Just because i'm young doesnt mean i should be undermined.So we got into discussing more about our shared interest-literature.We talked about Shakespeare...he showed me around in the bookstore on must-read literature books which includes Watt Whitman,John Milton,Marlowe....then we went searching for french essayist like Victor Hugo and again he introduced me some must-read books...poetry,essays,plays and many others..We spent almost half an hour in the bookstore together talking,sharing and he shared his favourite line like "I celebrate myself..."

I cant tell you enough how i appreciate that short and pleasant meeting with this wise old man.I learned more with him in just half an hour than without him for 1 month.My long awaited moment,to meet someone like him who teach and show me what i didnt read and know,for me to share how much i love literature,love Shakespeare,Charles Dickens,Jane Austen without the fear that i would bored him.Someone who already lived in the world i dream of indulging myself.Someone who afterall appreciates literature and comprehend them like i do or much better.

After this wonderful day,i promised myself i ll read all those books.I know they are all waiting for me.They are the one i can instantly fall in love with even if i dun know them well as compared to the other things that i forced myself to like them.Well...call me a nerd,a freak or whatever you like as it never bothers me much as compared to the sympathy i felt for those who failed to like any book in their entire life.So whatever really...There is so little time for so many books....

Sri Nobel

2007-12-19T02:23:00.000-08:00

"Wishing Well"

The crowd

He was all smiley just not able to capture it.

Melia,me and Michelle

Glad to have met her

Sri Nobel is actually a private institution of learning consisting of kindergarten,primary and secondary school which is located right in my neighbourhood but i have not once set foot in it or paid any attention to it.Things changed when Melia asked me to join some volunteering work to help out during the school's carnival.

Despite my lack of sleep,i still felt rather awaked when i was there plus it really was a pleasant surprise to see Michelle there as i haven't seen her since i stop math tuition.Michelle isn't from Melia's church,i guess both of us really did feel a little awkward in the beginning well at least i did.It really reminds me of the 1st day of school,people travelling in groups.I always wondered why is it that people tend to mingle only within their own fixed social circle,they greet,have polite conversation but never really open up.I can always feel whether someone is very reserved or open to making new friendship during 1st conversation,i guess thats first impression.

Anyway going back,i was assigned to help in the " Wishing Well" game which basically involves the kids dropping 1 cent coin into the plastic saucers placed inside the aquarium filled with water.At first i was worried thinking that this game would be a little bit boring even for children but then again i was proved wrong when i saw how the children was lightened up with bright smile when i handed them the 1 cent coins and patiently gave simple instructions.I was overwhelmed with the joy and laughters that these kids have brought to me.So i cheerfully high five with them when they win the game and comforted them to try again when they lose.At some point,i couldn't pick up the coins from the aquarium as fast as they throw it in.In fact some of them literally throw the coins in and splash water onto my face.I was very amused and cheered by these young and innocent souls but that doesn't stop my back from aching as i have to constantly hunch so that these little angels and devils can hear me.

The event ended about noon time.Although feeling exhausted i was very satisfied for having done something meaningful and happy for being able to spend some quality time with my friends.I really am determined to do this more often as i really like it!!

Welcome

2007-12-18T01:05:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my new blog!I have decided to continue blogging here instead of my old friendster blog as i think it would be more symbolic as my life takes on a new chapter plus i really wouldnt mind a little change.So if life is a journey not a destination,let me make lasting memories from my journey.If life is a big jigsaw puzzle,let me search patiently for the bits and pieces that will eventually fall into places.If life is a written book,let me live through every moment without skipping a single page.If life has to be a constant struggle,let me struggle and gain something.
If life is like ice cream,let me savour it before it melts.If i must fall in life,let me stand up stronger,braver and wiser than before.If life is meant to be written in words,let me be as good as Shakespeare.If life is meant to be blogged,let me be the best blogger ever in my own special way!!Cheers!!